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“A Good Cry”
Just saw this title.
Made me think about crying today.
Sorting through files,
I came across an AI life analysis,
it said: “As the youngest, you carried burdens not your own.”
Seeing that, I almost teared up.
“Still so childish,” and then, the song on repeat played,
Then, I cried.
It wasn’t really about feeling burdened,
or mature, or childish.
It’s that I’m in-between –
Not childish, not quite grown, but burdened.
I feel my life is… draining.
A wasteful drain.
And so, I cried.
I can imagine even at 50, there will be “I cried,”
even 60, 70, 80… still “I cried.”
But I know when I’m old and still have “I cried,”
that will be a “good cry.”
When old, I don’t want to only have “I cried” at funerals,
or life and death moments.
Like, crying a little remembering life’s bitterness.
Or, like younger days, crying to a song that touches you.
these, for me, are all “a good cry.”
I’m afraid of losing the ability to cry when old.
Even more afraid of wanting to, but nothing coming out.
I’m middle-aged now.
I cherish these moments when I can still cry.
And I tell myself,
every cry from now on is “a good cry.”
Keeping the tear ducts open,
so tears will still come when I’m old.
So today’s cry,
is a good cry.
